Catching The Sunlight

The sabbatical is over. It has been almost a month since my last entry. With a heavy head and a heavier heart, i have left behind the first half of twenty-ten. There were times i wished i would grow quickly and sail towards adulthood, and there were also times i hope age does not catch up on me.

It is almost cringe-worthy. The 80's babies are turning 30 soon. Frankly speaking, i have this niggling feeling and apprehension on hitting the ghastly figure. But it's inevitable. Shucks. I am still a care-free bachelor, i have yet to embark on a steely career & i am nowhere ready to start a family of my own.

An epiphany hasn't dawn on me yet. After all, isn't it better to live a day at a time? I will just take whatever life puts on my plate.

Moving on..

My 27th birthday in August will dawn on me soon, and i have hatched several plans of sorts. Call it resolutions if you may. I have harboured desires to acquire a great body of art, maintain an ideal weight and keep my food intake under strict surveillance. I am definitely somewhere right as i am typing this, but i hope i can achieve my goal by my impending birthday.

I am holding on to my dreams in appearing in men's fitness magazine, or getting my body featured in The Sunday Times Hot Bod Series. Honestly, whatever effort i am putting in are those of aesthetic purposes. I live to look good. Because my confidence will not glister if i am insecure on how i look, which in turn affects me a great deal cos then i won't feel good. Eddie's gotta shine. Best believe, man.

I have prepetually spoken of my wish to obtain a degree by the time i hit a certain age. That too, isn't far-fetched since i already have a Diploma in my bag. However, i am more concerned of graduating from poly for my part-time studies. It will be a perilous journey but i am adamant to ace my studies without being afflicted by the woebegones of life trials, relationship issues and the battle with my inner demons.

NUS, NTU... Please accept my application in Four-Five years time. :)

I am currently beset with friendship issues. You know, the ordeal of standing in the battlefield of dodging assaults of jealousy, hypocrisy, backstabbing and the works. I mean, we've been through the sum and parts of it through our secondary school years. I am sure we are way classy and streetsmart for any form of altercations and hate. Why are you guys giving me dramas and soap operas at this age?

I have possibly lost a few friends along the way for one reason or the other. Which, by no means whatsoever my fault. I am generally okay with ditching lifelong bonds with people, if i ever find out i am being disrespected & treated unjust.

To the friends departed, i care NOT that you'd walked out on me. Don't hate just because i look good for myself now. Don't hate 'cos i am educated. Don't hate 'cos i've dated, bedded and netted hotstuffs. Don't hate because of my personality. Don't hate 'cos i got class. And don't HATE 'COS I AM DOING BETTER THAN YOU.

I am currently seeing someone right now. This person stole my heart and i am fondly attached, almost like i never want to let go. But we are overwhelmed with hitches and snags at this very moment, and it gets harder to reaffirm and pledge your undying love for that person everytime we are broken open by circumstances and episodes of misunderstandings.

Maybe it rings true to a certain degree that it takes weak moments for a relationship to grow stronger. But how many times can a heart be fixed once shattered? I , however, heal by trust. And i hope this person can respond in similar fashion. It will continue to do so until there will be no more reason and glue power, left to hold the mantle of love together.

Ok, i am fawning over something spectacular. I am dying to get my hands on the new Iphone 4. I am absolutely bowled over by the sophistication and how technologically, it incorporates the wisest features a handset should have. I am primarily smitten by the 5-megapixels camera, because a camera whore like me, relies on good photography and camera works.

The Iphone may be overrated and a common sight nowadays, but the wonders of Ipod, mobile Facebook and the gargantuan number of applications will make one never to get their hands off their Iphone. It really can keep you busy to ends. I might just save up quick enough to buy me one, since my birthday looms around the corner.

Back to this fantastical life that i am leading, i want to get my act together and for a long while, do something worthwhile for my life. I am expressing desires to return to the Police Force. I have resigned almost TWO years ago from the organization - with concrete reasons in doing so. You would have to read my previous posts on why i left my security blanket.

I am now almost ready for a comeback. It may not necessarily be putting my best foot forward and be performing crime-busting acts - it could also be in any other Government sectors. I will settle for no less than a Government's job and indeed, i am putting my head through the door and knocking on it until someone opens. I want my thrice-yearly bonuses, my subsidised medicals, my 12-hour shifts, my Police cards, documents and affiliations, my awards, my authority and privileges and yes, the Glam factor that encompass.

Life is nowhere perfect but i am enthralled by the different routes i have to take. After all, it gives me an ideal opportunity to explore my options and decisions. I have grown to understand the mechanics of life and i am unafraid to fall. Because without falling, i will never know where my weaknesses are. And to be perfect is almost a Saint, which none of use mere mortals are.

Until the next entry - Keep on discovering, learning and growing. Cheers. :)))

I LOVE EU, baby R.