Festival Market

Lights. Camera. Action.

I assume in every muslim household, the whole family is busy prepping for the big day later today. From the cooking worthy of a king's feast to the arrangement of festive kuehs, it truly is a celebration. Mother is the grand master chef and i believe right now she is still cooking up a storm for the guests arrival later in the late morning.

Don't ask me why i am fixated to the computer. I am running away from the housework. I don't know in what area will i be useful in. For all i know, i have never touched any home tools, good at cutting vegetables or in the kitchen for that matter, and help around with the cleaning of the house. I am bad at it. No, i am not behaving like a prince. I just don't like getting any part of me wet, dirty, sweaty and in grime. I just like to stay comfortable, clean, fresh and scent-smelling.

I am not really anticipating to go house-visiting in the afternoon. Because i am worn out since the whole of yesterday. The lack of sleep can turn me into a grouch and i will whine incessantly. I can easily snap when something is not in sync with my thoughts, emotion and situation. The roads better be clear from congestion and there better be parking lots available to whichever house the family is visiting. Anyways, how apt for my parents to pick the colour black for the baju kurung?

What else can be done during the house-visits? Same old shit stories will be exchanged. You eat the same cookies crap the previous house has served you, you are being force-fed out of formality's sake, the dizzying effect of the multi-hued walls of the many houses, the fcuking annoying 'Where are you working now?' conversation piece, the fake air kisses, the 'come see how fcuking cute is my newborn' topic, the crazy navigation in finding relatives' address whose street you never knew existed, trying your best to clarify that you are EDDIE and not your siblings for the fcuking trillion times to your relatives who keep forgetting who you are and entertaining the bloody kaypoh relatives who wanders around your house and checking the rooms like they are some mediums exorcising your rooms from some spirits.

And another. Lucky i drive. Pity those who don't. Or else it will be terribly 'kesian' should a family dressed in a uniformed 'green' or 'pink' baju kurungs step into an MRT and people may think they have just completed filming the latest season of Sesame Street or looked like they have just attended the pink parade. Sure, the burst of colours are fascinating to look at, but stick to the lighter tones ok. But it's okay i guess. You can wear it during hari raya 'thru Halloween. Budget mah.

I also hate it when during house-visits, people will promptly play some comedy DVDs and melodramatic Indonesian dramas. For God's sake. I don't have the whole year with you. Neither am i here for pyjamas party. Stick to the re-runs Suria Channel is playing. Or else i will get bored and go check out your rooms. You want?

Please ensure your tiny brats don't run around the house when i come. Or i will whack him with my Samsung Omnia 2. And don't repeat yourself for me to eat, eat and eat. I get it, i LOVE your spring rolls, you fcuk. Or something might have tasted funky. That's why i didn't. Maybe your 'obit' curtain colour or that grinning fugly spinster daughter of yours peeking behind the bedroom shut my appetite? Haha...

But i love Hari Raya, lar. I can play dress up and show irritating relatives what a mighty handsome young man i've grown to be. And no, i am not married and i am not seeing some ITE student damnit. Waaaa...

Oh dear, i've talked alot haven't i? And please, one last request.....Friends, DO NOT send me rehashed sms messages, that i've seen before six milleniums ago. And it makes it seem you are saying the same things like everyone did. Cheers to a fabulous holiday and stay off the sodas 'aite?!

Plastic kisses now...Muackzzz!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
Maaf Zahir Dan Batin
-Buat semua rakan-rakan dan kenalan Muslim saya-

Halalkan makan minum Eddie Yusoff, ye?

(Forgive me for things the i've said & done - Applicable to those whom i've offended. Life is too short. Don't hate me just 'cos i'm handsome. Kidding:)))