Tracks Of Time

I have never hankered for material things by all accounts. I am never one of those retail whore who would go out at breakneck speed in order to be the first in line to own any newly-released or limited manufactured products. I live really simply now. Being out-of-job has made me much more appreciative of the little things i can get, i have owned and i could afford. It's not so bad after all. Any means of retail therapy has flung out of the window. Thoughts of getting sleek new gadgets has dissolved with no niggling effects. Going to expensive restaurants does not impresses me much. I don't want what i can't have.

I am seriously not bothered by things i could not have now. And so i don't see the effort i have to inject to fuel the desire. Because living the life like a prince has preceded the current circumstance. I grew up my way. It has always been whatever i want i will get. Even any ideas, plans and decisions made with others has to correlate with mine. As i would not take NO for an answer. Not that my hunch or instinct has ever failed on me. But i think my cognitive skills are working well. But point is, i am taking a step at a time. Running does not give you the opportunities to bask in the glory of sceneries and sights. I am at a walking speed now.

I have actually worked out a list; of the things i should and would work hard for. This is by no means sounding conflicting. But it's more of the stuff i need. Roll tape.

1) An MPV car. This tops the list because my family's size, and i mean literally, has been expanding. I would want my Hari Raya outings, mindless ghost-hunting activities, road trips and to any destination with family and friends to be a comfortable ride. It is also for the fact that i can chuck more people in the vehicle and have the means to actually render goodwill, by ferrying more classmates, who lives within reasonable proximities, home. You see, i see it as a gentleman's gesture, by being gracious and sending people back. I have no problems going a little out of my way, as i enjoy driving with some company.

2) A GPS device for my car would be something not too much to ask for. I get lost everytime. I cannot even get from one point to the other within a supposed estimated traveling time. Like eletronic signboards pointed out it'll take 15 minutes to get to Rochor Road. I get there in 45 or more. Because i always ended up in the wrong lane headed towards the wrong place. And who reads the street directory whilst driving? No time, a crime...

3) Buying loads of fitting t-shirts (New Urban Males ones would suffice;p) and funky jeans. I have out-grown my current t-shirts/jeans. I guess doing a whole lotta running does not stave off the body fats. Instead i seem to grow bulkier. Strange manifestations. I also find sheer comfort in just tees and jeans. It works everywhere. The weather rudely plays a part.

4) There is nothing that weighs heavily in my mind than the issue with my school fees. I have to settle both the balance of my school fees in both schools. I have been delaying the payments and i have resolute to surrender the bulk of my next career's first paycheck towards it. Or else i would get unceremoniously kicked out from school.

5) A dream job. I have rambled about getting that ideal career in previous posts. This definitely falls into today's post topic. Realistically, it is everyone's pen-ultimate dream. Dream job = A holiday. If you are working in that perfect job, everyday would be a holiday. There won't be a day where you'll be working. The phrase is taken somewhere. I rephrased it to my understanding. It is damn true. Hicks.

6) My TWO Diplomas in fields of Mass Communications and Police Studies respectively. Working hard and getting there. Don't interrupt, RUDE.

7) I want a new PSP console to replace my lost one. Something happened to the last one. It is a dramatic tear-jerking story how we got seperated. Sacrificing something does not require much deliberation from me. If it helps the situation and something good comes out from it, then i am not anal retentive about it. But no worries, mom says material thing can always be replaced. Can anyone get me the same exact PSP that i used to own? It's blue and the birthday's 20th August. Thank you. (hey, the psp is prolly the only thing i see as my entertainment companion, okay!)

8) I WANT TO REPAY MY DEBTS TO MY MOM. She's been my ultimate saviour and she has pulled me back from the edge uncountable times. It'll be an awesome gift for her. No, she never asked to be repayed, but as a son, you want to be able to give the best to your parents and let them enjoy their lives for once and not let them worry about you and be burdened them with your problems.

9) I want to go on an overseas trip soon with great buddies, to unwind and elope from the frenetic lifestyle i have been leading. Period.

10) Lastly, i want to acquire a golden brown tan. To complement the swimmer's bod that i am working damn hard to achieve. I think i have put on a slight weight and people are starting to call me names (you so bad one, calling me BBW). Haiz. No kidding, i see a mini paunch in the mirror after every meal. I get bloated easily after any food consumption. But it's just weight that can be shaved off. Nontheless, 25% into my goal and my mission is undying. JEALOUS.

It ain't hard to do, eh?

Bottom Note
I will always care for you, be there for you and be your guiding light. I have come this far. This is why every little thing you do hits home. I don't think i can seperate myself from you because we are glued together in emotions, cerebral aspect and physical unity.

Though your late nights keeps me awake, your personal commitment keeps me a distance, and your order keeps me silent, i have no complains. Because you are one of my life's greatest treasure. If you love someone, you will do all you can to preserve the relationship and make them stay contented. Even if it means if they asked for a breakup, you need to cave in, accede to their wishes for the pursuit of their own happiness.

I will be here, there and everywhere for you. I LOVE YOU, H.