The Flame Has Died

''It's one thing to lose a lover, another to lose a friend. But it's worst to lose both...'' - A quote from you

Your words shun me to a distance. I resisted and i kept running back like a lost puppy. I cast aside my pride and dignity, ate copious load of humble pies and allowed myself to be blamed.
Why? Because i love you very much. I was still in your life right until today, as you do not have the means and will to treasure and cherish me like you were supposed to. I have tried everything to revive the relationship.

I have gone to great lengths to make it up to you. I did things beyond my normal practices and allowed my principles to be compromised in order to align myself with your ways. I have tried everything to salvage us.

Why am i being hurt when i have been the perfect gentleman for you? Where have i gone wrong? You claimed you still love me. But who loves someone yet ask for a breakup? Common sense tells you that if you love your partner, no matter what you still would want to be with him. You don't love somebody but wants him out of your life.

In a perfect world, it usually takes a single sacrifice from a lover to jolt his lover of his sincerity, love and faithfulness. In my circumstance, i have given up everything i own just to let you have your way. But there is nothing that you find extraordinary about it. You don't believe how committed i was to you.

I have tried to move from being lover to friends. I can't. Because i will still harbour feelings for you. It's hard to be impassive about it. The reason i have ceased my existance in your life is that i understand you don't want me to be clingy and continue to see you as a lover, one which i am unable to do.

And so i will be the one to walk away from it all. Again, another one of my sacrifice, in order to save the both of us. I hope you will forever remember me as the boyfriend who will move the world for you.

I have no regrets. I am not going to look back being bitter about the broken unity. I am never going to say i have wasted my investments. Because i want to remember the beautiful memories most.

Thank you for coming into my life when i wasn't looking. I love you very much but what else can i do? I don't want to love and not be loved. You still see me as someone at your disposal. It hurts losing both a lover and a friend.

I hope you will carry on without me from here. I know you are able to. I made the painful decision to erase myself from your life as friend that you've requested us to be, but i've tasted the worst medicine in getting the breakup notice from you. I am saddened that you declined to celebrate my 26th Birthday. The irony is we became a couple on the eve of your birthday, but we broke up on the days before mine. It is also agonizing to know there will be no Hari Raya as a couple for us.

Food, places and things i do will be a constant reminder of you but let it be beautiful memories, we keep.

I hope you will take good care of yourself. Don't skip your meals and staying out till late. I may not get to spend a lifetime with you, but i will get by fine. I hope you will learn to treasure the next man in your life, else it'll be nothing but nursing heartbreaks when he is gone.

Let me drift back into my own world. The world i have left behind in exchange for the one i have created with you. I don't want you to miss me. You will not see me in the flesh. For my existance will only be in your imagination and this virtual space.

I am missing you badly but what else could i have done? Let fate decide if it wants to reunite us back. If destiny has it for us to reconcile, then we will end up in a lover's bliss sooner or later. However, it is time to bow out now and seek enlightenment and do an earnest soul-searching. Take care of yourself, my love.

I am writing on a new page. And so i have closed this chapter.

Goodbye.

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Claude Kelly - These Are The Signs

One month, four days and three hours since the time
that you left me sitting here wondering why.
Now I guess that some things happen for a reason
but I can’t see how this has a brighter side.
God knows I’ve been let down before,
but nothing like this, oh no.
Seems like all I have in store is pain, cause…

When nothing helps you to get through the night,
When you can’t eat, ain’t got no appetite,
When your friends try to come around,
but even they can’t make you smile.
These are the signs (these are the signs),
these are the signs (these are the signs),
these are the signs of a broken heart.

One month, four hours, three days since I found,
what you been really doing when you go out of town.
Finally, I see, that she,
must have been the woman you been with,
all the times you weren’t around.
God knows I’ve been let down before,
but never like this, oh no (Oh no).
Seems like all I have in store is pain, cause…

When nothing helps you to get through the night,
When you can’t eat, ain’t got no appetite,
When your friends try to come around,
but even they can’t make you smile.
These are the signs (these are the signs),
these are the signs (these are the signs),
these are the signs of a broken heart.

I hate to admit it, but it seems,
All the love symptoms I’ve found in me,
Like I cant eat, I can’t sleep,
and sometimes it’s hard to breathe.
Even a fool could tell my heart is broken in,
a million pieces.

When nothing helps you to get through the night,
When you can’t eat, ain’t got no appetite,
When your friends try to come around,
but even they can’t make you smile.
These are the signs (these are the signs),
these are the signs (these are the signs),
these are the sïgns of a broken heart.