A Visual Brilliance

In a month or so, 2010 will usher in. The thrilling thing is not so much of waiting for what the future will bring to our plates, but how have we utilized the previous year, what experiences have we brought forth, what lessons have we learnt and how many of our resolutions were actually materialized.

It has been a dotty year thus far. I fell in and out of love, i have expanded and deflated my body size(which is a concurrent battle for me), i have graduated with a Diploma in Mass Comm, i have gotten a taste of tertiary education in poly, i discovered my gem(see previous post), i have rekindled an impassionate love for running(a seven days a week affair for me now), i got rich and broke at the same time and a whole lot inspid moments that are best sealed in the closet.

However, one issue that i cannot get around resolving is - seeking employment in the sector i desire to be in. I am vehemently finicky when matters of job is concerned. I don't know when i will strike gold but a visceral feeling tells me a good job with a good pay looms in the forthcoming months. I know it is ludicrous to patiently wait for the pen-ultimate fortune but see, sometimes, things happen for a reason. I swear by 'Takdir' & 'Rezeki'.

I have faltered in my examinations. I am not going to be anal about it and harbour misgivings about the result's outcome. I knew the planetary alignments was somewhat disheveled the day i took the exam papers. Because the questions were tough and hard. I pretty much anticipated a lacklustre result. And i will not be abandoned in the dumps and let failure defeat my spirit.

I am certainly in a jolly mood. Because through my weakness, i have discovered my strength. My life is nowhere at the hindmost. I have explored the options and i am glad there are limitless opportunities for me to carry my academic dreams from here on.

It is too early to draw a list of resolutions, but one thing is affirmed - i know what i want for myself. I would just have to work for it, wouldn't i? I am not going to wait for fate or destiny to dictate my life. For instance, if i am driven by motivation to run a marathon, why would i let factors such as physical limits, stronger contenders, time and lack of opportunity inform me of impeded chances? If i am determined to do something, then i would do everything in my capacity to make it work. Why wait for something to happen when i can shift and shape my own destiny, long as i am brave and strong enough? If you dream it, don't dismiss it as a far-fetched dream. The onus is on you to bring it to life.

Some of the things i want to accomplish perhaps would induce an attenuate mirth or more, but the idea of settling down does not sound all too radical, isn't it? The bundle of joys a marriage can bring gives such warmth to the heart, with your son/daughter tugging and gripping their hands around your finger and come calling for you.

This beautiful picture sends my heart fluttering because yesterday, i was at Meridian Junior College, working out at its fitness corner with the buddy after my routine laps at the tracks. A 2 year old or so caucasian/malay mixed boy, approached me and asked me what i do when i am at home. He was left to his own devices by his caucasian dad, who was engaged in a football friendly at the football pitch.

The adorable tot said his name was Keoghan. I took a bit time out of my workout and kept him entertained by playing a goalkeeper while he tried to clumsily kicked the ball through the net. I was overwhelmed by a gentle joy and such wonderful feeling. I envisioned the child to be mine and here we are, relishing in a son and dad blissful moment. When his brother took away his ball, he came up to me crying and tugged at my finger with his tiny hands and said 'i want my ball back' - in an accented english. I melt.

I have come to realise that at this point of my life, at this age i am in, a companion is what would truly complete me. Surely an established career would be the pinnacle of one's life, but let's not practise an oversight of the other things that could render clandestine ecstasy and happiness. My whole life has always been about the paper chase, taking great pains in upkeeping my physical vessel/outlook and shrewdly indoctrinate others that i had failed to understand the basis of life.

Take pride and comfort in the little things you've done and gained. Be proud and thankful whenever you can. Appreciate that someone who love and care for you. Count your blessings on what you have and own. Give a pat on yourself at how far you've come in life. Be grateful that you have lived to see another day. Say your prayers to the ONE who's keeping you alive.

I am most content with my present circumstance. Even though i am not matched with a dream job, blessed with a rosy relationship, obtained a pass for my exams, have little money to get by and not have the means to buy the latest high end gadgets and whatnot, i do not deplore the lows life is giving me. It must have underlying reasons for me to emerge as a fighter through it all.

Surely in more ways than one, i should be thankful that my whole family and i are healthy, i have fulfilled my needs and wants, i lived the high life prior, i have the consistent company of besties and my amazing buddy, i am not handicapped in any ways, and most importantly - for the fact that i am still breathing to bask in a tomorrow that are saturated with bounteous surprises.

God is watching over us. Amin. :p

(Thank You for your company for the whole week, buddy.)