Fashion Bible

The TOP 25 fashion crimes:-

1. Wearing shirts or dresses with threads hanging off 2. Spotting someone wearing the same clothes at a function/events 3. Crocs sandals (super skanky) 4. Bell-bottom jeans (malaysian teens are fans - oh lord!) 5. Ponytails on grown up women (what? you think you're strawberry shortcake?) 6. Nose hair sticking out (bro, national geographic wants to do a documentary on spiders with you) 7. Bushy underarms on women (hello, peidu mamas) 8. Long fingernails on men (lin ching hsia called - she wants her nails back) 9. Chapped and dry lips 10. Skin coloured bra/panties (stop rummaging your granny's closet) 11. Fake/Authentic Anya Hindmarch's 'I'm not a plastic bag' bag 12. Ah-beng sideburns 13. Obese people in tight clothings, accentuating flab contours 14. Heavy makeup (TIED)with Blue eyeshadows 15. T-shirts with profanities and skeleton prints (very obit) 16. Funky body odours (you want some of my Dior Homme?) 17. Indian women wearing saris to practically everywhere 18. Stupid youths doing Cosplay 19. People who can't shave properly (spotted: single strand of hair sticking out amid a clean shaved patch) 20. Red hair on dark/fair skinned women (unless you want to look like a Texas soccer mom) 21. Tourists wearing knock-off Singapore Airlines kebayas at Changi Airport 22. People using conspicuous colored contact lens, trying to look beyond asian (blue or green, for example - The Grinch alert) 23. People who speak in put-on/deliberate American accent 24. People with horrid dress sense 25. Women toting Python/Crocodile skin bags (why would anyone think carcasses of reptiles are a must have?)...and a bonus track, presenting No. 26 - Dawn Yeoh/Wendy Cheng aka Xiaxue acting nippon cute, harajuku style.

These are solely my prerogatives of views and my opinion shall not be contradicted. I am not liable for any victims of the mentioned criminal acts expressing interest in a sue and slander pursuit. I will lobby for these acts to be deemed an offence, thus carrying a punishment of at least FORTY years imprisonment and subjected to rehabilitation in the form of watching David Gan's excruciating to sight fashion sense and a tormenting sit out for a day at CITY PLAZA on sunday witnessing off day maids in halter-necks, bare backs and toga tops.